Friday Blues

 Ok, now I know I am the worst of the worst.  Not only did I set out the camera, but I even looked at the thing this morning.  And do you know what?  It didn’t even register.  I am going to win the Worst Mom Award yet.  Here it is the first Friday, the 5th day of school and no first day of school pic yet.  Oh the horror of it.

Yesterday I actually did get some things done.  Not the heathens children’s room, but I did get some other critical chores done.  Kinda proud of myself. 

Fridays, or just any mornings are hard for me.  I miss my little people and I have to come home from taking them to school to an empty house.  While in this empty house, I get to reflect on the hairy mornings.  Having an ADHD child, I administer meds before they are even awake, which has turned out to be kind of a life saver.  I wake them up just long enough to get the meds inside the mouth and down the hatch.  Wherein I quietly go about other chores for the morning until time for them to actually get out of bed.  This makes things a little more relaxed when they do wake.  Things will kind of flow. 

Unless, Unnnlesssss I get up late.  Then I have to wake them fully and since the meds don’t have time to properly flow through the system, I am fighting with holding Noisy down to earth while trying to get Nosey to actually touch his shirt.   There is a lot of bouncing off the walls, and a lot of “looking” at clothing.  Not good for the brain that is still trying to wake up because it didn’t get the proper caffeine treatment yet. 

Getting them to school is most of the fun.  Last year we would go over spelling words on the way so that they might be fresh in the mind when the time for tests came.  Of course this morning was one of the mornings where I am pulling Noisy down from the light fixtures and prodding  Nosey to “please, get dressed!”  Begging Noisy to “please stop making pictures on the table with the milk”, “Nosey will you please sit down to eat” ????  Because we woke up late. 

This doesn’t happen often and is the first time for this school year.  So far.   So I am thinking no way will we be able to get some spelling refreshers done.  But guess what???  On the way to school, we actually got both lists done.  Considering we have only a ten minute ride to school, and both knew every word, I should be very pleased.  And I am for the most part, but the other part is now I am here alone, with all the daily chores and an empty house.  A list of things to do, and all I want to do is cry.  I don’t want to be here, I want to go visit.  I want to go visit my mom, and my cousin.  I want some adult interaction today.  I want it.  I need it.  But I am not going to get it.  Ok, maybe I’ll call them today.  When I get finished burning down the castle. 

4th Day of School

Ok, it’s now the fourth day of school and guess what I forgot to do??? Yep.  That’s right.  I forgot to take the school pics again.  I can’t believe I did that again.  I bet I forget tomorrow also. 

As far as my list goes, I feel like crumpling up the darn thing and throwing it at the trash can.   I’m trying to get into the mood to clean the darlings bedroom right now.  Oh, I wish the cleaning fairy would just come up out of the air and throw every thing out the window  take over for me.  Maybe I’ll just throw everything out the window get in there and start.  I can remember when I was a kid, how messy I was and that when I cleaned, everything went in the closet and under the bed.  Drove my mother crazy.  She was the kind of cleaning fairy back then.  I don’t know how she did it, but when were gone from the house, sleep over at a friends house, or gone doing something for the day, she would tackle our rooms.  When we would come home, it was like coming home to a new room.  All our junk and trash toys and treasures would be gone.  It looked so nice and tidy, that immediately we wanted to go play in there.  Or just sit and pretend we had done such a good job.  Thanks mom for doing the “dirty work”.  Now if I could just get the same cleaning fairy to come do my kids, then  I’d have it made.  I guess now its my turn to be the cleaning fairy.  Ha.  Ok, yeah, right.

3rd Day of School

Today is the third day of school.  I have been so busy, I have neglected my new blog.  Things have been so hectic, that I forgot to take pictures of the first day of school.  What mother forgets that??  Well, Me.  Oh the shame of it.  Nosey, who is now in the fourth grade, didn’t want me to walk him to his class Monday morning, which broke my heart.  While holding the hand of Noisy, I yelled to him, “Bye, I love You”, he just takes off without looking back and dissapears into his class room.  Casually, as my heart is breaking, I look down at my new little second grader, and she says, “It’s ok Mom, I still want you to kiss “me” goodbye”.  Oh my heart swelled.  Tears formed and I was choking.  Ok, its ok to walk her to her class.  I’m still loved. 

 I have been looking forward to getting some things done around here.  So when I got home, I put on some music, and got my boogie shoes on, mop, vacuum, and dusting gear.  Oh, and the laundry baskets.  Worked my bottom off doing all the things I had mostly pushed out of my head until now.  I felt like such a cleaning diva.   Had most of my list done before noon.  Ah, I felt charged.   Enjoyed lunch with Bud.  A quiet lunch.  This was not possible before.  Then of course, around three all that changed.  Back to homework, and a reasonable schedual.   About midnight, I finally fell asleep thinking, I have done good today.  Things were all good.  Except for the school pictures.  Of course I told myself I would take them tomorrow.

Yesterday, Ha.  Didn’t do much of anything but walk around thinking about how I miss them.  I guess I had forgotten how quiet things are without them here.   But actually I did do something, I cleaned out their drawers and made room for their new school clothes.  Well actually only half way.  Maybe today, I’ll do the rest.  Ya think??  Still didn’t take the 2nd day of school pictures.  Bad Mom, Bad. 

 Today, I forgot to take the school pictures again.  What is wrong with me???  I will try again tomorrow.  Oh, geez, I just have to set out the freeken camera.  Duh.  Now I’m in the missing them mode.  I want them back home with me.  Nosey, doing everything but what he should be doing, and Noisy, bouncing off the walls.  Woe is me.

I can’t wait for lunch time with Bud.  I also can’t wait for the cookie munchers to be home.    Today I am calling myself miserable mom.  For now its time to get busy.I suppose I’ll get up and look around and see what I “want” to do today.  Roast for Dinner?  I can see I’m not going to like being alone for a while.  Think I’ll get used to it?  Maybe, we’ll see.

Just Some Rambling

Today I am in a kind of funk.  Have been for a couple of weeks.  School starts in two weeks, and I am so ready.  I look back on this summer and see that it has actually been the best summer we have had in long time.  So why am I so blue?  I am already starting to miss the young ones, even though they have given me a few hundred more gray hairs.  Last night, we went to Bud’s Mom and Dad’s house for dinner.  Some of his relatives came to visit.  We had a good time and as always the food was delicious.  Everytime we go there and return, it is kind of sad to me, because I have to come back to our dirty house after being in such a beautiful place.  I realize that our house is an old house, and that no amount of cleaning will make it look even half way clean.  It needs paint, carpet and so much attention.  Since I don’t work, you would think that I could be able to get some paint on the walls or steam clean the floors.  But I can’t seem to get “into the mood”.  Also, we don’t have a lot of money and certinly no credit cards.  I need a job, but every time I bring the subject up to Bud, he pretty much lets me know, he likes me at home.  I want to be able to buy the kids nice school clothes, not Wal-Mart.  I guess, I need to get busy and get our spare room clean.  It has junk from top to bottom, that takes your breath away as you stand in the doorway you can’t enter.  We have lots we could sell at a yard sale.  But finding the energy and time is going to be a major job in itself.  But I am setting myself up for this huge chore after school starts.  I have so many plans for this place, but getting started is going to be the main focus.  My son and daughter still share a bedroom and it is time to get things going.  So for now, I am going to tough out the next couple of weeks and plan a stratagy.  Each day I will put down my plans here, and see where we end up. 

Frogs for Everyone

Ok, I haven’t posted much here yet, but once school starts, I will probably have more time.  And I am sooo ready for school.  Having a child with ADHD is like pulling your hair out.  One by One.  My daughter who we call Noisy, (not where she can hear) has ADHD.  I don’t care what anyone says, this condition is real.  As real as the cellulite on my legs.  My son however seems to have a touch of it, but then so do I.  Anyway, the other night we had a real meltdown.  And I mean of the nuclear kind.  She has found it that frogs are cool.  For the last couple of nights, I have let her, and her brother stay outside until after dark.  Living out in the country like we do, we don’t have to worry about someone grabbing them and taking off.  We can see their every move, and would hear if someone were coming up the driveway.  So a couple of nights ago, we were getting ready to grill burgers.  I was in the house getting the patties ready and she and her brother decided to catch frogs.  They would catch them in a little bug catching cage and then let them go.  This seemed to be so much fun for them.  Seemed harmless enough and it made them happy which is something I strive to do, make them happy.  But before it even got dark, you catch more then, they had some kind of squabble and she stood screaming, not yelling.  Screaming bloody bools outside about how he was “mocking” her.  I ran to the resque thinking she was badly hurt.  After a few minutes of trying to quiet her, she went into over drive.   There was no calming her.  Finially after trying but to no avail to get her “back to earth”, I decided there would be no frog hunting that night, and told her so, and herded her into the bathroom, and into a warm bath.  But she wasn’t giving in.  By then she had forgotten, for the moment, that her brother had hurt her feelings.  Now she was mad at me and wanted to catch frogs.  No amount of disapline was working.  She was at mach 5 and not slowing down.  “Frogs!!!!”  “I wanna catch FROOOOGGGSSS!!!!!”  Over and Over for the next 30 minutes.  I didn’t know what to do.  I felt so helpless that this child off mine wasn’t responding to me.  As I washed her hair, and arms and legs.  She just went on screaming, “Froggsss!!!!”  Finally I just had to shut the bathroom door and go finish getting the burgers ready for the grill.  Even after 45 min of trying to get things under control, I was failing miserably.  So, I left her there to maybe, I don’t know try to soothe herself?  Sometimes it works, but not this night.  After getting the burgers out to Bud and going back into the bathroom.  I had finally decided to give her a low dose of her meds.  5 mg.  I gave it to her, dryed her off, combed her hair and helped her with her night gown.  All while she is still screaming at the top of her little lungs about the frogs.  I then took her to her room, and made her sit on her bed while I went to get the rest of dinner ready.  Then instead of screaming and crying about the frogs, she starts in about her brother, “NOSEY ISN”T MY BROTHER ANYMORE,  Its AALLLL HIIISSS FAULLLT!!!”  We could all hear her through her bedroom window.  I told Bud, it shouldn’t last much longer maybe 15 minutes.  And what do you know.  She started calming down about time for dinner.  Wheewwww, It’s like taking a potatoe pealer to your legs.  You feel helpless and annoyed at the same time.  Your heart aches because you know she can’t help it.  And you know you have to be strong.  But man, hanging in there is Hard.  She is only 7, and so small, but she could blast out the windows of the all the buildings in New York at once.  After the meltdown came to its end, so did my composure.  I cried alone in the bathroom while Bud and Nosey came to the dinner table.  After I got them taken care of, I went into the bedroom to retrive Noisy.  She was a completely different child who grabbed my neck and kissed my cheek and told me how sorry she was.  I grabbed her up and we all sat down to a nice “quiet” meal.  Nothing was said about frogs  or the blow up.  A huge sigh from me, and Bud.  And a hug from Nosey and the evening was almost over.  About bed time, she comes into the room Bud and I share, where we both sit at our computers to watch tv,  and tells him she is sorry.  He was completely surprised and didn’t know what to say.  Before he could say anything she left.  We both just looked at each other.  The meds, the extra little med just ment it wasn’t a temper tantrum, it wasn’t a bad kid.  She just needed a little help.  Lately her meds have been wearing off about 5 or so in the evening.  And I have known it was time for an increase in dosage but have been putting it off hoping she would gain a little weight before school starts.  But now I see, I should have been on top of things and not let go so long.  Shame on me.  Now I am not telling any one to give extra meds in the evening.  You should talk to your doctor before taking matters into your own hands. 

Oh what it takes to have ADHD apart of your life. 

Firefighters, Our Heros

Today I woke up to some sad news.  Bud, (my guy) is a firefighter, volunteer for our small town.  So this is something I think about often, when the pager goes off and the tones are sent out across the air waves.  But you don’t think it is going to happen.  Or when you do think about it, you pray it doesn’t.  This morning, not in our county but still very close to home, a county neighboring ours lost two firemen and two others were injured in an early morning house fire.  Our hearts and prayers go out to the family of these individuals who we don’t even know their names yet.  This will be the first loss like this for this county, ever.  Please support your local volunteer fire departments, as they don’t get paid for what they do, and never fail to respond to the calls.  They do more than for our communities than we realize.  They can be true hero’s.

http://www.kltv.com/Global/story.asp?S=6881357

Not Fishing Today

Today it is going to rain, in fact it is already about to rain.  The kids want to go fishing soooo badly, but me being the mom, knows we shouldn’t go fishing in the rain.  I want to go, so that they will have something fun to do.  But, I don’t want to do something I know isn’t safe.  So instead of waiting for the rain, or no rain, I look up the live weather radar for our area.  It does indeed show rain for us. Lots of rain.  So I guess this is going to be another day of bored children in the house, singing “Rain Rain, go away, come again another day”