I Pat Your Shoulder

This week , a very good friend of mine and her family, buried her brother.  This post is for her. 

I know you are hurting, I know you are confused.  I know that you are wondering, “Why”.  

 It’s never easy when you lose a loved one, even one you haven’t seen in a long time.   And it’s kinda like a link has been taken out of the chain, and it hurts.  It hurts really bad. 

No one can ease that pain and no one can make it go away.  Time seems to mask it, kinda, but it is still there.  Even years later.  

I don’t really think anyone can say the right thing.  Everyone means well, but no one can actually say what you need to hear.  I am not very good at saying anything after some one loses someone. 

I’m not very good with sentiment.  There are so many people I want to tell, “I am sorry” to, but just don’t know how. 

So I will just pat you on the shoulder, that is probably the best I have.  Just know, if I do, pat your shoulder, then you mean a lot to me and I “do” understand.

So just imagine me patting your shoulder.

Here it comes again

Had a pretty good weekend, kids had a Christmas Program at our small church down the street.  Was a great program.  We also put up the Christmas tree yesterday.  The children always love it.  They get to play with the ornaments and look back to the years when they broke this one or that one, and fight over “how” it got broken.  But all in all it was a good weekend.

 Just one thing kept it from being a Great weekend.  Pain.  I wasn’t prepared.  It snuck up on me.  Dang, I thought the meds were working, then all of a sudden, here it comes again.  Bud insisted that because I skipped a couple that was the reason for the return.  I really don’t think so.  I think the meds are wearing off.  Or I am building up a tolerance. 

So here I am again.  A few weeks later, and starting to hurt again.  Each day it is getting a little worse.  Oh come on!  Not right before Christmas!  I haven’t even had my second MRI yet.  I have been canceled again.  Now I am supposed to go tomorrow.  I don’t want to go through this again.  I am getting scared.  What if I have to live like this forever?  Ok, well I am gearing myself up for it, I guess.  I haven’t forgotten what it feels like when it is at it’s worst.  Each little pang is getting a little stronger every time.  So of course I am trying every thing I can to not move that side of my face.  Ha! Try doing that.  It doesn’t work.  So now I am just going to have to go on and do what I need to.  And batten down the hatches.  I hope you guys are having a good day today.

Bad Harry, Bad

Having been very busy lately, I pulled a story from my list of stories from my other blog of long ago.  This happened in 2006.  Hope you enjoy it.

 Been quite busy here lately. But I have a post I must make. I told Noisy I would tell her sunflower story.We have a cat named Harry, or Mr. Harry sometimes. Big ole yellow tomcat. Now back at the beginning of summer the kids and I planted some seeds and they have been tending their own plants. Noisy had sunflowers and Nosey had watermelons. The sunflowers came up and the watermelons did too. But the watermelons, didn’t do too well. Their keeper, Nosey just wasn’t as interested as Noisy was with hers.  Anyway the sunflowers just started opening and had one that was really coming along wonderfully. One morning after breakfast, Noisy goes outside to check on the sunflowers, Harry follows her just like he always does.Now, I am washing dishes and have the water running and can’t really hear what is going on outside. But something in my mind says “something is wrong with Noisy”. I turn the water off and listen, sure enough I hear high pitched screaming. The kind you only hear when something really bad has happend like a bloody knee, or perhaps a snake bite…OMG!!  I am thinking hundreds of things at once, snake bite, Harry bite, cut foot, leg broken,  As I run to the back door, I can hear her screaming “NOOO YOOUUU DIDN”T!!!!!!! Over and over. Of course when I get there, she is chasing Harry out of the yard into the field with a big stick. So  I am thinking Harry has bit her.  But no…I see the sunflower, the pretty sunflower she has tended to everyday this summer, laying on the ground.  Oh dear, she screams at Harry as if her little heart is broken.  When she sees me she just collapes in the yard, stick in hand and crying to me in a tone that goes up and down, “MOMuuuuu!!!!!!!!! Harry killed my flowerrrrr!!!!!!  My heart of course sank even further when she told me how he did it.  He was standing by it and just layed down beside it and rolled over it. So of course the only thing to do is cut the flower, bring it in and put in water.  Hoping it will live long enough for her to get past it.  With a couple hundred hugs and kisses and I’m so sorry sweeties, she is ok and we discuss how long it will live and that next year we are going to plant a field of them.  Whewwww.  That was very emtional and draining. But of course Mom comes up with an idea. To make that flower live forever………A wonderful Photo of the Sunflower…..Baddd Harry Baaaadd.

Here comes the Decorating

Well Hello, here comes the Christmas Season.  Yippie.  Can you hear the enthusiasm in my words?  Of course you can.  As you know I am not a real big fan of holidays.  When I was a kid, they were all great.  Halloween, Thanksgiving, Easter.  They all were.   Now, I see how much work goes into them.  Not that I usually have a lot to do, but there are all kinds of activities that go along with decorating.   Putting up a tree, trimming the tree, placing all kinds of decorations around. 

I don’t decorate very well.  I don’t have an eye for that sort of thing.  So it doesn’t come easy to me.  I can’t tell what looks good.  Or what goes with what.  Seems to me you just put the things you like where ever they will fit.  Since we have a small house and living room, I am limited to what goes where.  This is where I find myself being decoratively challenged.  I know I could probably ask someone who knows what goes where, but then comes the problem of having what is needed to help put this here, or there.  So I just use the things I have accumulated over the years.  And yes, it always looks like someone  blew up the Christmas decoration box. 

Having children means you have to do all that.   Plus then you have all the Christmas programs, parties and fundraisers.  Not that I am complaining about those, I enjoy them.  But it is work to get ready for them.  Then you have the shopping.  Shopping has to be the hardest part.  I can think of all kinds of things for people when it is June or September, but when December comes around, I draw a blank.   And then shopping for kids, oh my goodness.   You just never get it right. 

Some people do cooking.  I am not a good cook.  I have already thought of trying to cook some pies or cookies, or candy.  Let me say it again, I am not a good cook.  Rachel Ray would clutch her chest if she were to visit my kitchen.  And not in a good way. 

I hope you enjoy the Holidays, and I hope you enjoy decorating and the Holiday things.  I will do my best this year.   I did for Halloween, Thanksgiving, and will continue on for the rest of them..  only don’t laugh at my decorations.  Ok?  Ok.