The Wonderful Hugging Toothfairy

The Tooth-fairy is real.  The Tooth-fairy is real.  The Tooth-fairy is real. 

I have to say this more than once because I have two children who I think, still believe she is real.  Noisy is 7 soon to be 8.  She just lost another baby tooth about a month ago.  And of course you know the drill.  Tooth under the pillow and next morning, Bingo.  The Tooth-fairy is still real.  

Yesterday, we had to stop at the store on the way home from school.  A friend of mine works there, and we were standing at the front talking to her.  Noisy on one side of me, Nosey on the other side.  We were talking about a wonderful desert I had made yesterday morning.  An Oreo Cookie Pie.  Yumm yumm. 

Noisy wanted to show her the hole in her mouth from the recent loss.  My friend, being the sweetie that she is, asked her how much she got from the Tooth-fairy.  Noisy said happily, 2 dollars.  Friend and I just laughed and went on to discuss the going amount for a tooth  these days.  Forgetting that Nosey is near by, with all ears pointed in our direction.

We move on to not how much the Tooth-fairy brings, but what “Mom” is actually budgeted for.  Of course Noisy is still talking and doesn’t catch the slip up.  After we have been talking a few minutes, we realize that we have an audience, and both of us look at Nosey.  Oh my, the look on his face is of disbelief, or anger, I’m still not sure which.  Anger is probably the best guess.

Now remember, Nosey is 9 and is a pretty smart kid.  Nothing escapes his ears.   After Friend and I realize that he has heard that Mom is actually where the money comes from and not the Tooth-Fairy, very erratically, we try for the old cover ups.  

You know the ones where you change from having a casual conversation, to where you grab your child and hug them, and try to to make them think they heard you wrong.  That you really meant to say something else.  When all you have to do is look in their faces to see that they don’t believe a word you are saying. 

This child, pulls away and gives me the look, ”Too late, MOM”, “I don’t believe you now,” ”Stop Already.”  So of course, you continue on, trying to plead your case, thinking you messed up but you can still fix it.   Just another hug and I’ll have things back to normal.

 I’m really glad that Noisy is a talker.  She never even knew or caught on to what was going on.  Bless her little heart.  Nosey on the other hand, caught the whole thing.  So when we got home, I took him aside and had a little talk. 

Mom:  I know that you are smarter than I give you credit for sometimes and I’m sorry that you over heard us talking.

Nosey:  It’s ok Mom.

Mom:  Are you mad?

Nosey:  Yeah, pretty much.

Mom:  I am so sorry honey, I didn’t mean for you to find out that way.

Nosey:  (angry look on his face again) I’m not mad cus she’s not real.

Mom:  Oh?

Nosey:  I’m mad cus you think I’m dumb enough to think she is. 

Mom: Oh?  ? (questioning look from me)

Nosey: Yeah.  I’m not that much of a kid anymore and anyway, I saw you put something under her pillow the other night, so I knew then. 

Mom: Oh….. (me speechless)………

Nosey:  Just don’t do that to me anymore.

Mom:  What?

Nosey:  Hug me where people can see. 

 Oh the HORROR, I have become what I never wanted to become.  The Mom, my son doesn’t want a hug from anymore.  How could this happen?  No more hugs?  When I want them??  Can’t we rewind?  This happened too fast!  We went from talking about the Tooth-fairy to being hugged…..  I can only hang my head in defeat.  Time has caught up with me again.  

I actually think Noisy never heard or even realized what went on.  She seems unscathed  in her pink fog, while Nosey is scarred for life.  Not for finding out who the tooth-fairy is but for being hugged in a public place.  What kind of mother hugs their 9 year old in public???

Oh, and Friend, I still owe you some Oreo Cookie Pie. 

Cleaning the Clutter

Yesterday, I wrote about a feeling I had.  When I got to thinking about it, it wasn’t a bad day.  I hope it didn’t sound like I never have a bad day, because I do.  Just like everyone else.  I just don’t have too many weird days.  That’s it.  A Weird Day.  Anyway now that that is settled, I can go on about my way today, knowing that I cleared that mess up.  At least for me. 

Ok, now time to start something that has been bugging me and Bud and the kids for a long time now.  CLUTTER.  I guess that’s how you spell it.  Spell check says it is anyway. 

I am not a very good house keeper, even tho that is all I ever seem to do.  From the time I wake up, till I “fall” into bed, I am cleaning something.  Most of the time it is the same old things.  Dishes, clothes, floors, bathroom, and such.  But now I am getting busy on cleaning clutter.  By that I mean it is time to start throwing away things that are unusable, broken or whatever is junk.  I started this yesterday.  I cleaned out a cabinet.  Yes just one, ok.  But I did it.  And now I have 6 more to go.  Ugghh.  But I have made it part of my cleaning routine.  How am I going to this, you might ask.  Well, I am doing one thing every day. 

I have a mental list of things to do.  And I figure if I do one thing a day, then surely by next Jan.  I should be half way finished.  Ha!  Ok.  Well I think I am going to tackle the kids room this morning. 

As some of you know, both kids share a bedroom.  This spring Bud and I have decided to clean out the spare room to separate them to their own rooms.  But there seems to be so many things that have to be done first before we can do that, and one is get their shared room cleaned first.  I mean old toys, clothes and junk.  It all needs to be separated and either thrown away or given to someone that needs them.  Not the kids of course, their stuff.  So after my coffee cup is empty and this post is made, I will get busy.  Oh wait, first I have to vacuum the living room, then I can get started.  Think I can get finished before they come home from school??  Hmm, maybe, we’ll see. 

Ever have one of those feelings?

Yesterday, I woke up with a feeling of ……..hmm, not quite sure how to say it.  I had a feeling, not in my jaw or face.  But in my head, stomach, and I guess my mind.  I don’t know where it came from or what to call it.  I tried to describe it to Bud, and my mother, but just couldn’t decide what to call it. 

It was kinda like dread, anticipation, anxiety.  No, not really, but kind of.  Just a feeling that something wasn’t right somewhere.  With someone, me, or I don’t know who.  Could have been me.  Could have been someone I didn’t know.  It just felt horrible.  Like I was waiting on something to happen.  Maybe something good or bad I couldn’t tell.  It was just one of those days you just want to sit very still and not move.  A day when you couldn’t think right, you couldn’t make up your mind about any thing. 

I know I’m not describing this right.  It was almost like you are afraid to move or speak because you are really excited about something or really scared about something.  I have no idea which one.  I know you think maybe I am crazy or that the meds have finally pushed me over the edge.  But I am finally used to them and don’t notice any side effects at all anymore.  Unless I forget for a few days. 

I used to get these feelings alot when I was a kid.  As a grown up, I have had a few also, but not in the last couple of years and not to this extreme. 

I mean that this feeling, whatever it was, was just persistent.  No matter what I did to try to make it go away, it just wouldn’t.  And the things I tried, I kept screwing up, it seemed like.   I guess it was just a bad day.  But I don’t have that many of them.  Oh I have days when my jaw hurts like mad, but not many days where I just can’t function because of a feeling. 

It was also kinda like a feeling as if you were in school again and sitting outside of the Principal’s office.  Or like you were 7 and were waiting on your birthday party to start. 

Just not sure about it.  Every have one of those feelings??

Need A Reason To Get Up In the Morning?

This is in response to a comment I got from a dear family member.  I know we all have our little aches and pains.  Or big ones.  But we all get up and do the things we need to do.  That is just how it is.  I love you all and think of you all.  You guys are also my reasons for getting up everyday.  Thank you guys for being there for me, even if I owe you a phone call.  Loves and Sugars from Me.. 

Ok People, need a reason to get up in the morning? I’ll give you my two. Nosey, Noisy. Ok, I have more than that. The rest of my family. I have alot of people that I feel need me. Some of them I don’t talk to much, but some I do. And some of you I need to give a phone call to, Yes you GT,

I love you all.

So again, the most needy are my kids. Some days I just feel like crap. Most days I hurt. Most days I just want to take my meds and go back to sleep. But that can’t happen. I know most of you work, or go to school.  Some of you work from home.  You all know who you are.  And you all are an inspiration to me. 

I am a stay at home mom. And being a stay at home mom, you don’t get to call in sick. Ever. I would love to sometimes. But lets be honest. That isn’t going to happen.

My kids are 9 and 7. And they help out alot, but they still can’t go unsupervised. My daughter has a pretty good case of Adhd so there is no way I can call in sick.

We pretty much stick to a strict schedule. It is mandatory. I get up in the morning and take my meds the same time I am giving out her’s and Nosey’s. Nosey, he has a mild form of add. So I have to stay on my toes.

Sometimes I just wish that I could hide. I mean just crawl in the closet and close the door and just sit there. Wouldn’t be long before someone would find me though.

Anyway back to the fact that my people are what give me the reason to get up. They make my life bearable. If it weren’t for them, this pain would just probably do me in. When it is at its worst, I just feel like I could lay down and die. But with them, I keep thinking, who would take care of them like I do? Would they crawl up in the bed with them at night and read a story? Would they make sure they had bubbles at bath time? Who would put a little note in their lunch box that says “mom loves you”?? Would they let them sneak a couple of bites of candy before dinner? (Oh I know this is wrong, but, hey I love them and they are appreciative of it). And who would fix macaroni and cheese when we are having bacon and eggs for dinner?? Would they get a song sung to them about doing homework when they don’t want to do it? I can make up good songs when under pressure. And if you add in some funny faces and do a little dance along with the songs, they will tell you, you are the best mom in the world.

So it is worth the extra effort. There are all kinds of little things I do. If I were not here, would someone else actually do these silly things. Maybe, but they wouldn’t be as good as mine.

And I must add Bud in here. I love the things I do for you also. I know you could do all of the things I do for you on your own, but hey guy, I love doing them for you. I also know that some of the things I do you might not do on your own and there for you do need me. I also thank you being so kind to me. I love making you smile, and all the silly things you do make it worth getting up each day also. You have been a rock to me and the younguns. I love you too.

So I get up every morning, and do the things I was meant to do. I can’t check out and come back later. I can’t check out not come back. So there are my two reasons for getting up. Everyday. For the rest of …… hmmph….my life.

Getting Older or Just More Mature?

Hey Guys, I am writing this post in response to the previous post.

To Lynn, sweetie, I tend to think that when you get older a lot of changes seem to happen.  Not all at once, but the older you get the more you look back and notice them.  Seems like one day you feel so young and I mean at 35 or 39 and  in truth that is young.  Actually, 45 is still young.

 But somewhere around 40 or so, things start happening that make you wonder “where in the world did time go?”  “Why does one year meld into another??” ” Why do I feel so tired??”  “Why all of the sudden does my hip hurt?”  And “Where did all of these little aches and pains come from?”  They aren’t supposed to happen until you get old.  “What did I just say??”  And by Old, I mean 70 or 75.  I realize that old isn’t really what this is all about because, old isn’t an age. 

I think what I am trying to say is mature.  Mature is when you finally realize that there are somethings you shouldn’t be doing, and some things you should be doing.  Like instead of wanting to do something just because you WANT to doesn’t mean you should.  And be nice to other people, you don’t know how good you could feel if you are just generally nice.  So ok, some people will still be crabby, but that is ok.  Let them be crabby, at least you were nice.

I am coming to realize that there are things that I should be doing like actually spending time with my kids, enjoying life.  Not complaining that this didn’t happen or that did happen.  Letting go of the raw feelings about certain things and just “Letting it go.”  You will never get that time back that you spent doing something else, when you could have made the best of the time spent with your kids.  It’s best to think of the memories they will have and you want to be a part of their good memories not the bad ones.

I wish that I had been able to actually listen and understand what everyone told me when I was “less mature”  about “getting older”.  Certain things mean more than others and other things just really don’t matter at all.  I am getting it now.  I understand that some things actually are true.  Like when you get up in the morning, it is harder to get going, and how it takes longer to do things.  And how when you feel bad, you just really feel bad.  Not sick, but just …..UUGGHH.  But you can’t stop it, you just have to go on. 

Being mature, I guess means that you are more understanding of people, (you don’t let them really piss you off).  I have learned to allow them their own opinion, I have mine, why shouldn’t every one be able to speak their mind?  Sometimes the best thing to do is just hush and allow them the floor to speak.  Also, you really don’t let the bad things in life just sit in you and grow, you just …….grow duck feathers and let it all slide away.   There again is time spent worrying about things  you really can’t change anyway.  You can complain all you want, but more than likely nothing is going to happen to change things.  The best way to change things is to be a good example and maybe others will pick up on it, and if they don’t  ……oh well.   I know, it sounds like a load of crap, but sometimes it works.  And ……….just grow duck feathers.

Getting older, means that your body takes a 360.  You start noticing little things don’t work like they did before.  Hours are like minutes, minutes are like seconds.  Oh boy and it seems your eyes don’t want to focus, your feet hurt, and you start forgetting things.  And Menopause???  Did God really think it should happen now for me???  Ok, so maybe he did.  I just have to accept this and deal with it. 

Ok, so this is what I think, I am not a kid any more, but I am still young.  I still have alot of learning to do.  But now I am trying to remember………Why?  Loves to all of you.  From me. 

Now, I have to get going to the UUGGHHH grocery store, where I will spend about an hour and a half of my time, when I could be using it to do something else.  See what I mean??

Did I really do that?

Ok, you know how sometimes you do something or say something you wish you could take back?  Well I seem to do this quite often.  This morning after leaving the grocery store, which by the way took more than an hour and a half of my time, I remembered something that happened a couple of weeks ago.  I have a hole in my head where my brains leaked out. 

 Bud, Noisy, Nosey and I went to Ci Ci’s Pizza.  It’s a good place to go when you want a buffet and it’s ok pizza too.  The kids love it and it’s a cool place to people watch, which both Bud and I love to do. 

Well, I tend to think of myself as someone who would help someone if they needed it.  In this case, I shouldn’t have.  We like to sit up close to the buffet so that when the hot pizza’s arrive we can tell what they have in case it is what we like.  This means we are also close to the drink machine.  I also tend to see people.  I mean really see people.  but in this case of course I just wasn’t paying attention.  Go figure.  I did however notice what I thought was a little girl trying to get a soda from the machine.  She looked a little smaller than a 5 or 6 year old that couldn’t reach up enough to make the thing work.  So without thinking, I get up and go over and ask her if she needed any help.  She spats at me and gives me an abrupt “NO”.  So ok, I am thinking,  “Ok, she has been taught to say no to strangers.”  Good parents.

 So I go sit back down to look for a parental figure to come help her.  Not the case.  As I look closer at this little girl, I notice she isn’t probably 5 or 6.  She is probably closer to 20 or 25.  Oh my, what have I just done is to humiliate a grown woman.  But how could I have missed this???  On closer observation, I notice that her clothes are not that of a child but of a 20 something lady.  So I scan the room and a normal size man comes to her rescue.  When she tells him off about helping her, I look at him and he looks at me and grins then says, “Women, What do you  do?”   and laughs.  Oh what a great way to relieve the tension I felt.  DOH!  In the course of about 3 mins, I went from feeling like a major bozo, to feeling ok again. 

Note to self…. when people watching, don’t over look the obvious.  Now I just have to watch that hole in my head so my brains don’t fall out again.

Time to Start the NEW YEAR

Well, we made it.  It is now another year.  How a year can go by so fast is beyond me.  I remember when I was younger, the older folks would say, “Time goes by so fast youngun, you better make good use of your time.”  What?? What did that mean exactly?  Well, now I understand.  40 Years later and now I get it.  I realize it’s not to late to make good use of your time.  But when you are 15, 20, even 30 or 35, you just don’t get it.  Well now that I am 41 I get it ok?  Wishing you were younger doesn’t actually get you anywhere, and sure doesn’t help looking back.  Ok so, the years really do go by fast, you look up and it is a year later.  You still haven’t done the things you wanted to do, you still haven’t visited the people you want to visit, you haven’t said the things you wanted to say. 

Well.  Ok.  I guess the best you can do is just to try to be a little more understanding of others.  I look back on this last couple of years that just seem to meld into one year.  And I wonder if we can actually call them a year.  I guess not.  But could we at least give ourselves credit for making it this far? And for understanding that a year is so short and gets shorter every year??

Anyway, I am sending out a wish for you all.  I hope you all had a good Christmas, and I hope this New Year will be good to you.  Better make good use of your time younguns, for next year is all ready here.  Love you guys!