The Patch

 

In my last post, we were about to try the Patch, Daytrana.  For Noisy, ADHD has been pretty hard to deal with everyday.  The little girlie and I have been working really hard for a long time trying to find the best way to do things.  Her teachers have been a really big part and have all been very supportive.  Our family has been equally understanding and helpful.  The patch has been a last ditch effort to help her.  Since we’ve been through most other meds, and tried other things, I was hoping this might give her a little more to work with.

We started on a monday, at 5:30 in the morning.  One patch.  She didn’t do well at all.  Her teacher called me around 12:45 and said things weren’t going well.  She was very erratic, and having trouble concentrating.  She went Up and then Down.  Very quickly,  not gradual but from one extreme to the next.  Good ole doc said to try two if one didn’t do very good.  So the next day, we did two.  Nothing but good from everyone I talked to.  Finally she was like all the rest of the children. 

I noticed she was different when she came home.  She was able to eat, she told me she was happier than she had ever been and told me “thank you Mom”.  I was actually able to have a conversation with her where she wasn’t running off every two minutes.  It worked great.  Except for one thing.  The things itched, and grabbed her clothing and pulled her skin.  So I read on the internet, that you could put Band aids over them to keep them in place.  Great Idea.  That works. 

I also read that alot of people were having trouble opening the packages or getting the backing off.  I use scissors to cut open the packaging and haven’t had any trouble getting the backing off.  The only thing I don’t like is having to get up at 5:30 to put them on.  But I am getting used to it.  Except for today.  I turned off the alarm and didn’t wake up till 7 am.  Bud and I both slept in a little today and things were hectic.  But all is good now.

Last Friday we had some snow.  Real snow.  First time we had Real snow was in 2004.  I got out with the kiddos and took some photos.  If you want to see them, check out my flickr at the right. 

Next post will be on Nosey since Noisy has gotten the spotlight the most here lately.

Noisy – Part Two

 

This is part two to Noisy – Part One.  I have been struggling with how to start part two.  So I guess I just jump in. 

After the diagnosis, and the introduction of medication, things with her were wonderful.   She was a different child.  I could talk to her, actually sit down and read a book to her and she be able to follow along.  Her writing became neater, coloring was 100% better and she was able to stop the erratic behavior.  Her grades went from 40s and 60s up to 90s and 100s.  Her conduct at school and home was excellent.  No more trips to the office, no more problems at home.  She became more wonderful and delightful to be around.

Not only did this help her, but it helped me to be able to relax a bit more.  By that I mean I wasn’t “on guard” where ever we went.  Before, when we would went places, I had to be constantly on guard.  Never able to actually think about anything other than keeping her from running away.  Into traffic at the grocery store, pulling things off the shelf, hiding and just running all over the place.  I could actually give her a piggy back ride in the stores because I wanted to.  I used to do this just so I could keep up with where she was.  Let me tell you, with 5 year old piggybacked, you have a hard time getting things off of shelves. 

Needless to say the medication was wonderful.  The doc had prescribed 5 mg of methylphenidate once a day.  After about a week, we increased it to twice a day.  Along with the excellent behavior during the day, came the no eating.  No sleeping.  No matter what I fed her, she wouldn’t eat.  This was a child that ate everything before.  Was always hungry.  I never had to worry, because she ate what you gave her.  And all of a sudden it stopped.  So I started adding carnation instant breakfast to her milk.  Milk was about all she ever wanted.  And is still that way today. 

The sleeping, the sleeping.  What can I say.  She had trouble.  Couldn’t seem to figure out to to make this happen.  So, instead of reading to them in the living room after school.  I decided to start reading to them before bed.  It never really worked well and I never found a solution that worked every night.  I made sure she had warm baths before bed, tried to keep chaos down around that time.  Bed time is at 8:30.  Always has been.  Some nights are better than others, and some are terrors.  Sometimes she will fall asleep quickly and sometimes it takes till 10:00.  Nothing I try works all that great, but we work at it every night.

Now, the meds.  Oh the wonderful meds.  Well, they stopped working about 6 months into the program.  So we changed to something else.  I forgot what.  But it worked for about 6 more months, then we changed again.   They worked for about 3 months.  And since then, no matter what she takes, it works for about 3 months and that is it.  I can always tell when they are on the downhill, because her appetite comes back, and the grades go down. 

I try to keep an eye on her grades and keep in touch with her teachers.  That way before they start getting too bad, we are able to get to the doc and try something else.  I should also mention, that I don’t rely on the meds to do all the work.  I or we, “the family” work at it together.  I have changed the way I deal with her and it really helps.  She used to be punished for her behavior the way any child would.  Taking away things for a period of time, timeouts,  and some times swats. 

Now before you go and criticize me for the swats, I don’t mean “beat”.  I mean swats.  Anyway, we don’t do that anymore, it didn’t work anyway.  I have learned to be more patient all around.  Not just with her, but her brother and everyone else.

I take more time for her and less time for me.  I spend more quality time with her and her brother together and make a habit of recognizing bad behavior and pointing it out.  Redirecting is a great way to stop behavior before it starts.  But you have to be on your toes and catch things before they happen. 

Example.  She is playing with some toys, Nosey comes in and try’s to get her to play something he wants to play.  She will scream, “NO”, and if I don’t step in, it will escalate to a fight.  I know this happens with all siblings, but this will get physical because she will attack him.  Yes attack him.  Meds or no meds. 

Something else, I try to make sure she doesn’t get bored.  Sometimes if I am busy, and she is getting bored or the meds are starting to wear off, she will provoke her brother into a fight.  I know I know this happens with all kids, I just try to keep order by keeping them busy.  And sometimes separated.

Now back to the meds.  She has been taking meds since 2005.  Changing frequently from methylphinadate, to concerta, to adderall.  About every 2-3 months now, we have to try something different from dosage, to change all together.   The last time we went to the doctor was Feb 28 th.  Before that was sometime in November.  This last prescript was Focalin.  I didn’t like it at first because it seemed to wig her out.  But after about a week she was back on track. 

Beginning of Feb, things started to decline again, and so we did alot of redirecting and trying to work things out our selves until the next appointment.  We did pretty good in the early hours, but later in the evenings has been a test of wills.  I have been exhausted the past month and having problems of my own has just made me a nervous wreck.  But we have survived. 

On Thursday, Feb 28th, we went to the doc.  We decided to try the “Patch”.   Since both kiddos would be going to Grandparents for the weekend, I decided to wait till Monday, yesterday, to start with the patch.  I know the doc told me to start with one and if that didn’t help do two.  I told her teacher of the change and to call me if she seemed to have any problems.  I do this every time we switch.  Well yesterday, I must not have gotten the dang thing on right, because around noon the teacher called. 

I kind of thought maybe that she would take it off, or really go nuts because of the thing stuck to her hip.  So I expected the “call”.  Teacher said, that she wasn’t having problems with it being there much.   Some discomfort, ok, that was to be expected.  But she said the problem was erratic.  Oh dear.  One minute she was up on the ceiling.  The next she was wonderful.  And there was no gradual change, it was instant.  One minute she was doing great, the next she was lost.  Noisy I mean, not the teacher. 

So I decided to go ahead with the two patches the next day.  Which would have been today, but I overslept.  You are supposed to apply the dang thing an hour and a half before you need it to work, which meant I should have gotten up at 5:30 to apply it, but didn’t wake up until 6:30.  So I didn’t do it.  I ended up giving her a focalin instead.  Bad Mother, Bad. 

I wrote her teacher a note and told her what I had done, and I expect a phone call around noon again today.  For tomorrow, I will not oversleep, I will set the alarm and put the thing under my pillow where I will hear it.  I am just hoping that I didn’t cause severe brain damage to my child because of my own stupidity.  Had I been thinking clearly, I would have gone ahead and applied it anyway at 6:30.  But I was in the morning fog.  Ohh being a mother is sooo harrrddd.  You never know exactly what to do.

Sum this all up and the meds when they work are great.  My child is now an A and B child.  She is “here” with me.  I can talk to her like a mother should be able to talk to her child.  She has not lost her personality, but gained a voice.  She still sings all the time, and is my sweet little Katie Pea.  I know that meds don’t work forever, and they aren’t for everyone.  If she wasn’t such a severe case, I would try the herbal remedies,  but I wouldn’t trade the experimentation for what we have now.  The older she gets, the more she can tell me how she feels, and can help me help her.

She now tells me when she feels like she is getting out of control.  This has to be one of the scariest things a parent goes through.  Autism, Adhd, and other disorders are so scary, you never know what is going to happen next.  Or what you are doing.  It is day by day, hour by hour.

I love being a parent, and I am learning more about myself in the process.  Just hang in there.  Prepare yourself for the rough days, but enjoy the good ones. 

So there is Part Two.  I will keep you all updated on the patch, just don’t send me emails about what a horrible mother I am…. Because, I am trying. 

Noisy – Part One

I am going to write about something today that I rarely write about.  ADHD.  This is something I deal with every day but know very little about.  I should know a lot about it because it has been apart of our lives for a long time.  But even with all the research I have done, things I have read, and the people I have talked to, I am still learning.

Noisy, my daughter, has always been somewhat different pretty much all of her life.  She was always so sweet, and fragile but very active.  She loves to be the center of attention and is really funny.  She can make you laugh with her very out going personality.  I don’t mean silly, but very “on target”. She is always bouncing off the walls and always having fun.

When she turned 4, we started to notice a delay in her speech.  So I took her to a speech therapist until she started kindergarten.  It was in kindergarten that we learned she had ADHD.  Her teacher came to me about a month into school, and said she thought that ADHD might be a possibility because she had been having trouble getting into the routine of school.  She had given her time to get adjusted and should have been able to follow directions by this time. 

Since she didn’t go to pre-k, I thought maybe she just needed a little more time.  Her teacher assured me, that she needed to be evaluated.  Since her teacher had been a kindergarten teacher for a long time, I knew she knew what she was talking about.  She also told me she had 2 more children in the class that were diagnosed before school started and that it wasn’t something to be ashamed of.  So I started looking for a way to help my sweetie pea. 

I checked with her regular doctor and was sent to a behavioral therapist.  But when we went for the initial visit, I didn’t like him.  For some reason, I just didn’t like him.  I guess one reason I didn’t like him was, he told me that for the visits, he would have to spend about 30 minutes each time alone, with her, for “evaluation”.  I really, really didn’t like this at all.  So I went looking for another therapist.  I decided to call the place where we went for speech therapy and they gave me the name of a woman who they worked with.  So we went to see her.  She was a young lady and was wonderful. 

We continued to see her once a week for about a month and a half.  But the problems at school weren’t getting better.   Noisy kept getting in trouble, was sent to the office several times for the same kind of things.  She would do things like tearing the paper off crayons and shredding them.  Spilling her box of crayons so she could get down and pick them up.  She wouldn’t take turns going to the restroom and still had trouble with the everyday routines.

So after talking with the therapist, she gave me a referral to a therapist that deals mostly with children with ADHD.  I was very afraid that I might have to deal with something I had never wanted to face before.  But after talking with Noisy’s teacher everyday, and accepting that this might be something I needed help with, I called and made an appointment. 

Now, realize, that not only was she having trouble at school, she was a very trying child at home.  Loving and sweet as she was, she was still very difficult.  I thought that she just needed a little more attention, and I just had a tiger on my hands.  She would tear the stuffing out of her stuffed animals.  She would rip the leaves off plants and crumble them.  Several times, I would go to check on her at night and find she had snuck a magic marker into bed with her and had colored her whole body and the sheets and her pillows.  Nosey never did anything like the things she would do.  I still just thought this was her personality.

So, I decided this visit with this therapist, might be the thing to do.  When we went for the initial visit, he talked to me and asked me questions.  The whole time, he was watching her over in the corner playing.  After we discussed all that needed discussing, he told me that he understood and that everything would be ok.  He pointed out that I was very tense and that I kept checking on her too often.  I told him that I felt I had to incase she started tearing the paper off the walls.  There it was.  In the bottom of my stomach I realized, I was stressed out and really needed help. 

He diagnosed her with ADHD and gave me a list of options.  Herbal remedies to try, and went through a list of prescriptions to try.  He explained how they all work and let me decide where to go next.  To sum it all up, we chose the lowest dose, short acting.  He assured me that after the next day, I would see immediate change.  So we left and I took her home with me for the day.

He instructed me to give her the first dose the next morning before breakfast.  So when she was finished eating, I did.  I took her and Nosey to school that morning and told her teacher the news and she promised me to call me if there were any problems.  She told me they would watch her and make sure she ate her lunch.  I also went to the school nurse and visited with her and we talked about her second dose around noon.  She was also very kind and helped me understand that Noisy wasn’t the only one that was taking medication and that it helped the others very well. 

I have to tell you, I went home and cried.  I cried like a baby.  I was now an official mother of a child with a problem I had to help.  I was so scared that I had damaged this creature from God and that I was the worst mother on the planet.  What was I doing??  How could this be??  What if the medication made her zombie fied?? What if she died from the meds?  What if she went crazy and they had to restrain her??  What if??  What if??  I was lost.

I had a horrible day.  So when I went to pick my children up after school that day, I went to pick Nosey up first. I was terrified and had trouble walking to her classroom to talk to her teacher.  When I got there, she told me to let the kids play while we talked.  Oh my, here comes the bad news.  But guess what?  She had nothing but good to say.  She said that Noisy had done beautiful that day.  That she walked right into class and started her day perfect.  They whole day went perfect.  And as I watched her and Nosey play in the corner, my heart soared with love.  She was a calm child with her personality intact.  She was the child I knew was always there.  She was with it.  She was “on target”.

Part Two Coming Up

Need A Reason To Get Up In the Morning?

This is in response to a comment I got from a dear family member.  I know we all have our little aches and pains.  Or big ones.  But we all get up and do the things we need to do.  That is just how it is.  I love you all and think of you all.  You guys are also my reasons for getting up everyday.  Thank you guys for being there for me, even if I owe you a phone call.  Loves and Sugars from Me.. 

Ok People, need a reason to get up in the morning? I’ll give you my two. Nosey, Noisy. Ok, I have more than that. The rest of my family. I have alot of people that I feel need me. Some of them I don’t talk to much, but some I do. And some of you I need to give a phone call to, Yes you GT,

I love you all.

So again, the most needy are my kids. Some days I just feel like crap. Most days I hurt. Most days I just want to take my meds and go back to sleep. But that can’t happen. I know most of you work, or go to school.  Some of you work from home.  You all know who you are.  And you all are an inspiration to me. 

I am a stay at home mom. And being a stay at home mom, you don’t get to call in sick. Ever. I would love to sometimes. But lets be honest. That isn’t going to happen.

My kids are 9 and 7. And they help out alot, but they still can’t go unsupervised. My daughter has a pretty good case of Adhd so there is no way I can call in sick.

We pretty much stick to a strict schedule. It is mandatory. I get up in the morning and take my meds the same time I am giving out her’s and Nosey’s. Nosey, he has a mild form of add. So I have to stay on my toes.

Sometimes I just wish that I could hide. I mean just crawl in the closet and close the door and just sit there. Wouldn’t be long before someone would find me though.

Anyway back to the fact that my people are what give me the reason to get up. They make my life bearable. If it weren’t for them, this pain would just probably do me in. When it is at its worst, I just feel like I could lay down and die. But with them, I keep thinking, who would take care of them like I do? Would they crawl up in the bed with them at night and read a story? Would they make sure they had bubbles at bath time? Who would put a little note in their lunch box that says “mom loves you”?? Would they let them sneak a couple of bites of candy before dinner? (Oh I know this is wrong, but, hey I love them and they are appreciative of it). And who would fix macaroni and cheese when we are having bacon and eggs for dinner?? Would they get a song sung to them about doing homework when they don’t want to do it? I can make up good songs when under pressure. And if you add in some funny faces and do a little dance along with the songs, they will tell you, you are the best mom in the world.

So it is worth the extra effort. There are all kinds of little things I do. If I were not here, would someone else actually do these silly things. Maybe, but they wouldn’t be as good as mine.

And I must add Bud in here. I love the things I do for you also. I know you could do all of the things I do for you on your own, but hey guy, I love doing them for you. I also know that some of the things I do you might not do on your own and there for you do need me. I also thank you being so kind to me. I love making you smile, and all the silly things you do make it worth getting up each day also. You have been a rock to me and the younguns. I love you too.

So I get up every morning, and do the things I was meant to do. I can’t check out and come back later. I can’t check out not come back. So there are my two reasons for getting up. Everyday. For the rest of …… hmmph….my life.

Friday Blues

 Ok, now I know I am the worst of the worst.  Not only did I set out the camera, but I even looked at the thing this morning.  And do you know what?  It didn’t even register.  I am going to win the Worst Mom Award yet.  Here it is the first Friday, the 5th day of school and no first day of school pic yet.  Oh the horror of it.

Yesterday I actually did get some things done.  Not the heathens children’s room, but I did get some other critical chores done.  Kinda proud of myself. 

Fridays, or just any mornings are hard for me.  I miss my little people and I have to come home from taking them to school to an empty house.  While in this empty house, I get to reflect on the hairy mornings.  Having an ADHD child, I administer meds before they are even awake, which has turned out to be kind of a life saver.  I wake them up just long enough to get the meds inside the mouth and down the hatch.  Wherein I quietly go about other chores for the morning until time for them to actually get out of bed.  This makes things a little more relaxed when they do wake.  Things will kind of flow. 

Unless, Unnnlesssss I get up late.  Then I have to wake them fully and since the meds don’t have time to properly flow through the system, I am fighting with holding Noisy down to earth while trying to get Nosey to actually touch his shirt.   There is a lot of bouncing off the walls, and a lot of “looking” at clothing.  Not good for the brain that is still trying to wake up because it didn’t get the proper caffeine treatment yet. 

Getting them to school is most of the fun.  Last year we would go over spelling words on the way so that they might be fresh in the mind when the time for tests came.  Of course this morning was one of the mornings where I am pulling Noisy down from the light fixtures and prodding  Nosey to “please, get dressed!”  Begging Noisy to “please stop making pictures on the table with the milk”, “Nosey will you please sit down to eat” ????  Because we woke up late. 

This doesn’t happen often and is the first time for this school year.  So far.   So I am thinking no way will we be able to get some spelling refreshers done.  But guess what???  On the way to school, we actually got both lists done.  Considering we have only a ten minute ride to school, and both knew every word, I should be very pleased.  And I am for the most part, but the other part is now I am here alone, with all the daily chores and an empty house.  A list of things to do, and all I want to do is cry.  I don’t want to be here, I want to go visit.  I want to go visit my mom, and my cousin.  I want some adult interaction today.  I want it.  I need it.  But I am not going to get it.  Ok, maybe I’ll call them today.  When I get finished burning down the castle. 

Frogs for Everyone

Ok, I haven’t posted much here yet, but once school starts, I will probably have more time.  And I am sooo ready for school.  Having a child with ADHD is like pulling your hair out.  One by One.  My daughter who we call Noisy, (not where she can hear) has ADHD.  I don’t care what anyone says, this condition is real.  As real as the cellulite on my legs.  My son however seems to have a touch of it, but then so do I.  Anyway, the other night we had a real meltdown.  And I mean of the nuclear kind.  She has found it that frogs are cool.  For the last couple of nights, I have let her, and her brother stay outside until after dark.  Living out in the country like we do, we don’t have to worry about someone grabbing them and taking off.  We can see their every move, and would hear if someone were coming up the driveway.  So a couple of nights ago, we were getting ready to grill burgers.  I was in the house getting the patties ready and she and her brother decided to catch frogs.  They would catch them in a little bug catching cage and then let them go.  This seemed to be so much fun for them.  Seemed harmless enough and it made them happy which is something I strive to do, make them happy.  But before it even got dark, you catch more then, they had some kind of squabble and she stood screaming, not yelling.  Screaming bloody bools outside about how he was “mocking” her.  I ran to the resque thinking she was badly hurt.  After a few minutes of trying to quiet her, she went into over drive.   There was no calming her.  Finially after trying but to no avail to get her “back to earth”, I decided there would be no frog hunting that night, and told her so, and herded her into the bathroom, and into a warm bath.  But she wasn’t giving in.  By then she had forgotten, for the moment, that her brother had hurt her feelings.  Now she was mad at me and wanted to catch frogs.  No amount of disapline was working.  She was at mach 5 and not slowing down.  “Frogs!!!!”  “I wanna catch FROOOOGGGSSS!!!!!”  Over and Over for the next 30 minutes.  I didn’t know what to do.  I felt so helpless that this child off mine wasn’t responding to me.  As I washed her hair, and arms and legs.  She just went on screaming, “Froggsss!!!!”  Finally I just had to shut the bathroom door and go finish getting the burgers ready for the grill.  Even after 45 min of trying to get things under control, I was failing miserably.  So, I left her there to maybe, I don’t know try to soothe herself?  Sometimes it works, but not this night.  After getting the burgers out to Bud and going back into the bathroom.  I had finally decided to give her a low dose of her meds.  5 mg.  I gave it to her, dryed her off, combed her hair and helped her with her night gown.  All while she is still screaming at the top of her little lungs about the frogs.  I then took her to her room, and made her sit on her bed while I went to get the rest of dinner ready.  Then instead of screaming and crying about the frogs, she starts in about her brother, “NOSEY ISN”T MY BROTHER ANYMORE,  Its AALLLL HIIISSS FAULLLT!!!”  We could all hear her through her bedroom window.  I told Bud, it shouldn’t last much longer maybe 15 minutes.  And what do you know.  She started calming down about time for dinner.  Wheewwww, It’s like taking a potatoe pealer to your legs.  You feel helpless and annoyed at the same time.  Your heart aches because you know she can’t help it.  And you know you have to be strong.  But man, hanging in there is Hard.  She is only 7, and so small, but she could blast out the windows of the all the buildings in New York at once.  After the meltdown came to its end, so did my composure.  I cried alone in the bathroom while Bud and Nosey came to the dinner table.  After I got them taken care of, I went into the bedroom to retrive Noisy.  She was a completely different child who grabbed my neck and kissed my cheek and told me how sorry she was.  I grabbed her up and we all sat down to a nice “quiet” meal.  Nothing was said about frogs  or the blow up.  A huge sigh from me, and Bud.  And a hug from Nosey and the evening was almost over.  About bed time, she comes into the room Bud and I share, where we both sit at our computers to watch tv,  and tells him she is sorry.  He was completely surprised and didn’t know what to say.  Before he could say anything she left.  We both just looked at each other.  The meds, the extra little med just ment it wasn’t a temper tantrum, it wasn’t a bad kid.  She just needed a little help.  Lately her meds have been wearing off about 5 or so in the evening.  And I have known it was time for an increase in dosage but have been putting it off hoping she would gain a little weight before school starts.  But now I see, I should have been on top of things and not let go so long.  Shame on me.  Now I am not telling any one to give extra meds in the evening.  You should talk to your doctor before taking matters into your own hands. 

Oh what it takes to have ADHD apart of your life.