Of course, when Mom isn’t happy, no one is.  But in this case, when Dad isn’t happy, no one is.  Bud is the one this time, not me.  For some reason, when this man isn’t himself, it screws me all up.  I don’t know why.  For the last week he has had a sinus infection coming on.  He knew it was about to happen, but let it get to the painful part before he states, “I need a doctors appointment.”   Had I known it was happening, I could have already been prepared mentally for the way I was going to feel.  Selfish huh?  Well, it’s just that way.  When he isn’t right, I’m not right and I have to be right.  I have others depending on me right.  I can’t function properly if someone else is out of sorts.  So I worry, and feel bad for him, and feel bad for the kids.   It feels like the whole world is going to fall apart.  I know that after taking medication within a few days he will be better.  But until then, I will ride this thing out with him.

    Ok, I know, I know.  I am still alive.  Kinda.  Been having alot of pains.  Meds just zing me out.  Still trying to get things together in my head.  Had lots to do.  Baseball is one of the things.  I am loving it.  I so enjoy watching these kids try so hard.  Nosey is really enjoying it, but isn’t very good.  Heck, none of them are.  They haven’t won a game yet.  But I keep the faith.  I just know they will.  So since I haven’t been here for a while and don’t really feel like writing much these days.   I have added some other photos of the game on flickr.  I’ll try to keep up with writing this summer, I can’t wait till the kids get out of school.  Later

Last week was a doosie.  I think I was busier last week than I have been since Christmas.  But I enjoyed it.  Had lots to do last week.  Shopping for Noisy’s birthday, Nosey’s baseball practices, and games.  Birthday party.  Car wash for the RA’s.  Sleep over.  Oh man.  I was busy.  And you know what?  I had a blast with all of it.  Lots of depression, pains, but I made it.  The depression made it hard to do it all.  But I did it.  Today there is no depression, so I cleaned the house.  Really good.  And cleaned the stove.  Something I haven’t done in two months.  But, now my Mom is on my mind.  Having some tests done today.  But, I am holding on to good thoughts, and I know all will be ok with her.  I just have to get my mind and self together.  The best thing for the depression, for me, is activity.  So I will keep busy, and know my mom will be ok.  I love you Mom and thank you for all you helped me with last week.  Call me. 

The day has come I always wished for.  Well, one of the things I’ve always wished for.  Nosey is playing baseball this year.  Every year he has said he wanted to play but then when it came time for sign up, we either didn’t have the money at the time or he chickened out.  But this year, we got him signed up.  I  have always been a baseball fan.  Collecting BB cards and love to watch the game.  I had an old glove and ball, but I never  really played.  I tried once to play on a softball team, but realized I wasn’t any good and was just too shy.  I went to one practice and never tried again.  But I never got rid of the love of the game.

When I got pregnant with Nosey, one of the things I wanted was for him to play baseball.   I couldn’t wait until he got old enough to play.  But his desires didn’t match my own.  Now, things have changed and I am so glad I didn’t “make” him play because I wanted him to.   But because “he” wanted to. 

Now here is the thing.  He isn’t the most athletic kid.   More intellectual I guess.  So the first practice, this being his first year to play verses the other kids who have played before, they put him in center field.  Ok, I knew that was coming.  But they, the coaches, didn’t put him out there and forget about him.  They worked him just as much as the other kids.  Of course on the first day, he gets a little tired of standing waiting his turn to catch something, decides to kneel down.  Then I heard one of the coaches tell the other in a low voice, “center field”.  My heart dropped, thinking “oh no, they will hit it to him and he won’t respond.”  Oh my gosh.  That is just what happened.  Me being the over protecter, was just going nuts inside.  But, he actually did pretty good getting the return, and he hasn’t been unprepared since.   Oh and he sleeps with his bat.  Every night, right beside him.

I haven’t stayed for the other practices, thinking, I kinda need to let go a little, that maybe mom being there the whole practice is distracting to him.  So Noisy and I have taken him, and come back a little early to pick him up.  You know so that I don’t seem to be hovering.  Anyway, the proud moment that I have been waiting for came last night when we were leaving.  The coach had already praised him a few times when he didn’t think I was listening.  But before we got into the car, he said “Nosey, good work man, your really doing great.”  Oh my heart dropped.  The look on Nosey’s face was unforgettable.   Just kinda, “yeah, thanks Coach.”  No emotion, no happiness, no elation, nothing except…….”yeah, thanks Coach.”  As though it wasn’t a big deal.  But, on the way home, I looked into the rear view mirror and could see his eyes shining, and a small, but proud smile.  Oh, there went my heart again.  You go Nosey, You go boy.

Oh I can’t wait for the first game!

Pete in a tree trying to catch a mocking bird.  He was unsuccessful. 

Well, when you live in the country as we do, you have many cats and dogs that come up.  Some are dropped off and some come from the woods or where ever.  Over the years we have had many cats just “show up”.  Somehow we get attached to these animals and so far we have been lucky, they have all been male.  But what happens is they come up as kittens and then we get attached and then they leave.  There has been, Bob who was here when we moved in 5 years ago, who came and went about three times.  Then there was Harry, who came and went.  Then White Sox,Little Kitty, then Pete.  They always stay around about 5-6 months, I guess when they get the “hunting” down.  We find small mice, snakes and other small things left on the porch for us to find in the mornings.  I guess they are thinking, “look what we caught for you.”  Then, they just dissapear, the cats I mean.  Harry stayed around the longest.  But this time, we had a little screaming yellow cat one night last fall come up.  Of course he was a pest, always in my face, but like the others, he has taken flight.  All of the others of course we would have them vaccinated, and wormed and spend money on them.  But we knew what would happen with Pete, so we didn’t this time.  And of course over the weekend, Friday morning he didn’t show up.  Still hasn’t been around, so I guess it was his turn.  They all came back at least once or twice and then never to be seen again.  I just wonder if Pete will show back up.  I guess we’ll see.

Hello, I’m back.  Been kinda busy lately so I haven’t posted much.  But I had to do this post.  A couple of years ago,  one of my aunts gave me a bunch of iris bulbs.  Alot of them actually.  I planted them in spots all around the front yard.  This is the first year any of them have bloomed.  I was so excited that I actually had any of them bloom at all.  A long time ago I used to have a green thumb.  But somewhere along the line, I lost it.  With the lose of my dad, my divorce and other things that happened, I just quit gardening.  I have tried to get back to it in the last couple of years, but haven’t gotten even close.   My heart just hasn’t been into it.  I tried, but not with the passion I had before.  But, this year, I’ve had some of the irises bloom.  Mostly the white ones.  But the other day I noticed that one of them was going to be a deep purple.  And when it bloomed yesterday, I just had to take a shot of it.  I am so proud of it, I had to share it with you guys.  I am going to try to get back the old passion.  I hope, I can do it again.  I miss having the feeling of beauty in my heart.  A little bit at a time.

I would like to give credit to my Aunt Barbara, she is the one who gave me the bulbs.  Aunt Barbara, Thank you, they are now coming up and are beautiful. 

I Love Bad Photos.

I took a few photos like this, but none of them came out like I wanted.  As per the SPF post, I have been having trouble with batteries.   No, I still haven’t bought any more yet.  So I took these photos with batteries where the camera kept shutting off.  Anyway, in this one I got Nosey’s shoe.  Argghh.  But I posted it anyway.  Oh well.

Yep, I am back to the real world.  Have been quite busy since Friday.  Spring break for the kiddo’s was last week.  Yesterday was a bad weather day so they didn’t go back to school like the rest of the towns around here.  But today, Yea, they went back.  So, I am back to myself here.  I am having a hard time getting going on my chores.  All I seem to want to do is ….. nothing.  But I am slowing getting things going. 

As you know Easter was Sunday.  Along with Easter, comes egg hunts, Church services, Easter Clothes, ironing.  Filling eggs for the hunt”s”.  Now the Question.  What in the world do you do with all the plastic eggs that are left over from these “hunts”?? Hmm?  Well, I am not quite sure myself.  I thought about giving them back to the Churches for next year.  But they didn’t want them.  So I guess, I put them in a bag and add them to the already crowded closets.  The photo, is of only half of them.  Eggs along with all the candy that comes in them is over flowing and this year seems like more so.  Two big bags of candy looks like cavity season to me.  Oh well, it only comes once a year.  At least they got the message of what Easter is really about, but I still think the candy and eggs were the most focused on. 

My Boy