Crap, Sorry for the pause

 

    Ok, I know, I know.  I am still alive.  Kinda.  Been having alot of pains.  Meds just zing me out.  Still trying to get things together in my head.  Had lots to do.  Baseball is one of the things.  I am loving it.  I so enjoy watching these kids try so hard.  Nosey is really enjoying it, but isn’t very good.  Heck, none of them are.  They haven’t won a game yet.  But I keep the faith.  I just know they will.  So since I haven’t been here for a while and don’t really feel like writing much these days.   I have added some other photos of the game on flickr.  I’ll try to keep up with writing this summer, I can’t wait till the kids get out of school.  Later

Nosey and Baseball

The day has come I always wished for.  Well, one of the things I’ve always wished for.  Nosey is playing baseball this year.  Every year he has said he wanted to play but then when it came time for sign up, we either didn’t have the money at the time or he chickened out.  But this year, we got him signed up.  I  have always been a baseball fan.  Collecting BB cards and love to watch the game.  I had an old glove and ball, but I never  really played.  I tried once to play on a softball team, but realized I wasn’t any good and was just too shy.  I went to one practice and never tried again.  But I never got rid of the love of the game.

When I got pregnant with Nosey, one of the things I wanted was for him to play baseball.   I couldn’t wait until he got old enough to play.  But his desires didn’t match my own.  Now, things have changed and I am so glad I didn’t “make” him play because I wanted him to.   But because “he” wanted to. 

Now here is the thing.  He isn’t the most athletic kid.   More intellectual I guess.  So the first practice, this being his first year to play verses the other kids who have played before, they put him in center field.  Ok, I knew that was coming.  But they, the coaches, didn’t put him out there and forget about him.  They worked him just as much as the other kids.  Of course on the first day, he gets a little tired of standing waiting his turn to catch something, decides to kneel down.  Then I heard one of the coaches tell the other in a low voice, “center field”.  My heart dropped, thinking “oh no, they will hit it to him and he won’t respond.”  Oh my gosh.  That is just what happened.  Me being the over protecter, was just going nuts inside.  But, he actually did pretty good getting the return, and he hasn’t been unprepared since.   Oh and he sleeps with his bat.  Every night, right beside him.

I haven’t stayed for the other practices, thinking, I kinda need to let go a little, that maybe mom being there the whole practice is distracting to him.  So Noisy and I have taken him, and come back a little early to pick him up.  You know so that I don’t seem to be hovering.  Anyway, the proud moment that I have been waiting for came last night when we were leaving.  The coach had already praised him a few times when he didn’t think I was listening.  But before we got into the car, he said “Nosey, good work man, your really doing great.”  Oh my heart dropped.  The look on Nosey’s face was unforgettable.   Just kinda, “yeah, thanks Coach.”  No emotion, no happiness, no elation, nothing except…….”yeah, thanks Coach.”  As though it wasn’t a big deal.  But, on the way home, I looked into the rear view mirror and could see his eyes shining, and a small, but proud smile.  Oh, there went my heart again.  You go Nosey, You go boy.

Oh I can’t wait for the first game!

I Love….

My Boy

Need A Reason To Get Up In the Morning?

This is in response to a comment I got from a dear family member.  I know we all have our little aches and pains.  Or big ones.  But we all get up and do the things we need to do.  That is just how it is.  I love you all and think of you all.  You guys are also my reasons for getting up everyday.  Thank you guys for being there for me, even if I owe you a phone call.  Loves and Sugars from Me.. 

Ok People, need a reason to get up in the morning? I’ll give you my two. Nosey, Noisy. Ok, I have more than that. The rest of my family. I have alot of people that I feel need me. Some of them I don’t talk to much, but some I do. And some of you I need to give a phone call to, Yes you GT,

I love you all.

So again, the most needy are my kids. Some days I just feel like crap. Most days I hurt. Most days I just want to take my meds and go back to sleep. But that can’t happen. I know most of you work, or go to school.  Some of you work from home.  You all know who you are.  And you all are an inspiration to me. 

I am a stay at home mom. And being a stay at home mom, you don’t get to call in sick. Ever. I would love to sometimes. But lets be honest. That isn’t going to happen.

My kids are 9 and 7. And they help out alot, but they still can’t go unsupervised. My daughter has a pretty good case of Adhd so there is no way I can call in sick.

We pretty much stick to a strict schedule. It is mandatory. I get up in the morning and take my meds the same time I am giving out her’s and Nosey’s. Nosey, he has a mild form of add. So I have to stay on my toes.

Sometimes I just wish that I could hide. I mean just crawl in the closet and close the door and just sit there. Wouldn’t be long before someone would find me though.

Anyway back to the fact that my people are what give me the reason to get up. They make my life bearable. If it weren’t for them, this pain would just probably do me in. When it is at its worst, I just feel like I could lay down and die. But with them, I keep thinking, who would take care of them like I do? Would they crawl up in the bed with them at night and read a story? Would they make sure they had bubbles at bath time? Who would put a little note in their lunch box that says “mom loves you”?? Would they let them sneak a couple of bites of candy before dinner? (Oh I know this is wrong, but, hey I love them and they are appreciative of it). And who would fix macaroni and cheese when we are having bacon and eggs for dinner?? Would they get a song sung to them about doing homework when they don’t want to do it? I can make up good songs when under pressure. And if you add in some funny faces and do a little dance along with the songs, they will tell you, you are the best mom in the world.

So it is worth the extra effort. There are all kinds of little things I do. If I were not here, would someone else actually do these silly things. Maybe, but they wouldn’t be as good as mine.

And I must add Bud in here. I love the things I do for you also. I know you could do all of the things I do for you on your own, but hey guy, I love doing them for you. I also know that some of the things I do you might not do on your own and there for you do need me. I also thank you being so kind to me. I love making you smile, and all the silly things you do make it worth getting up each day also. You have been a rock to me and the younguns. I love you too.

So I get up every morning, and do the things I was meant to do. I can’t check out and come back later. I can’t check out not come back. So there are my two reasons for getting up. Everyday. For the rest of …… hmmph….my life.

Committee Chairman, Me??

Hello.  It’s me again.  I know I took a break.  Sorry about that.  I’ve been kinda busy with Doctors and all.  Plus Thanksgiving.   Bud was home for the week and I spent the majority of the time with him.  We don’t get to do that very often. 

The title of this post is about something I am coming to love.  If you remember, or know me, you know that last year I signed Nosey up for Cub Scouts.  I did this thinking that he would have something to do that would be fun and that he could do.  Something that wouldn’t be too hard, but give him the challenges he needed.  And help with his self esteem.  This was going to be a new charter, and since it was in the beginning stages, we had to start from scratch.  I mean starting with assigning leaders and such.  I somehow got assigned the position of Committee Chairman.  At the time I was told that all I would have to do was to sign all the papers and just basically sit and listen.  Now I know that isn’t all that it involves. 

Oh boy.  I had no idea what I was doing.  But that was ok, none of us knew what we were doing.  I mean the rest of the leaders.  Last year we basically just fumbled through the whole thing.  There were camping trips not approved, wrong badges given out.  No training what so ever.  So a few of the leaders went to some of the meetings and learned more of what we needed to do.  This year seems to be coming along a little better.  The ones that attended the meetings or training came back with all kinds of info and things are getting to be more involved. 

I however,  haven’t lived up to my end of my job.  Looking up my position and doing some reading, I have a lot more detailed info on what I am supposed to do.  Boy oh Boy.  If you know me, then you know I am one of the shyest people there is.  I don’t do well in charge.  I don’t do well when having to speak to groups of people.  I don’t do well when speaking to someone I don’t really know.  So what in the world am I doing in the CC position??  I have no idea what I am doing.  And I freeze up when people look at me.  But I think I can handle this.  I just have to work through the anxiety.  I am kinda looking forward to this.  Shhh don’t tell anyone.  But it might be fun.  So, while I am trying to work myself up to go to some training meetings, I will be pushing myself to breathe and to think off Nosey.  He means more to me than making a fool of myself.  And this is for him.  Right??