Getting A Little Anxious

Anxious?  Me, of course.  However I’m not going to tell you how much I feel pulled in different directions.  (Not this time).  I counted the days this morning,  32 more days till school starts.  If I counted right, and yes, that includes weekends.  As with all moms or just some moms, or maybe just me, I’m ready for school to start again.  That would be one less thing for me to concentrate on.  I always look forward to the last day of school at the end of the school year.  I love spending time with my kiddo’s and not really having to rush around in the mornings and getting to drink my coffee and actually taste it.  It just seems like this time of year, (the end of July) I am craving the quiet of the house where I can go about my work without having to monitor the breakfasts, say anything to anyone about nothing.  I can take as much time as needed to shower and “tend my business”.  I don’t have to referee.  No vacuuming around little feet and having to turn the TV down every time I walk past it.  Ahh, the little things.  But also going to miss those things as well.  Ok, well, only a little.  or not.  Oh come on August! 

This year and last year have been a mind blowing experience for me.  I feel tugged and pulled and just down right exhausted.  Mostly mental.  So I am looking forward to a little quiet time.  When our home gets finished and we get moved in, then I think I can relax.  I hope.  Probably not going to happen though.  Something else will come up and “No rest for the weary”.  

I just can’t wait to be able to do laundry in the house.  No going back and forth to the laundry room, which is outside.  I can stay dry, warm in the winter, cool in the summer, all washing and drying clothes inside.  8 years going outside everyday to do laundry doesn’t make you strong, it makes you appreciate the little things.  Boy will I appreciate the inside laundry room.  Also having a window over the sink, that is going to be nice. 

2006

However nice it’s going to be, it’s also going to be very bittersweet.  No more fields for the kids to play in.  No more going to the ponds and such for them.  No more privacy.  That is going to be the biggest thing.  Where we are now, is quiet, back off the road and no neighbors but one, and they are pretty far away.  Fuzzy B and Furry P do their “business” outside.  Not really looking forward to a litter box.  And now, Johnson who has joined our family and likes to run in the morning isn’t going to be able to.  We see him in the mornings running in the fields at top speed.  He looks like a greyhound while running.  Both back feet and front feet meet in the middle while he is in the air.  Such a beautiful site.  Not going to be a place to run where we are going.  

2006

So, yeah, I’m a little anxious, worried, extremely excited and pretty much overwhelmed.  With everything that has changed in the last few years, I wonder if I’m dreaming all of this.  First Mom, then now all of this.  What a rollercoaster.   But change can be a good thing.  Sometimes a necessary thing.  It keeps you from getting complacent.  I love my life, and the people in it.  I love my family.  I am happy.  Anxious, but extremely happy for the first time in my life.  I am truly happy.  I don’t suppose I’ve ever been happy.  Wow, what a great feeling. 

Tears on the First Day of School … Really???

Really??  After 7 years you’d think it wouldn’t happen.  My right hand guys, my compadre’s, pain in the asses, my two pygmies.  They have been beside me all summer.  After all we have been through this summer, you wouldn’t think it.  We three have been through a lot, and I mean a lot.  I figured it would have been them.   But guess whose dam broke.  No, not theirs  Mine!  Yes, me.  I let that dam break wide open.  After all the good luck sugars and hugs, (not Danny of course, just a peck on the cheek for him, 7th grader you know), I let it out.  Not even a question of me walking them to class this year. I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking about all the things I need to do now as I drive out of the parking lot.  Didn’t even get past the school before I could feel the tears coming from my eyes.  I boo hoo’d all the way home!  (all of the 7 minutes it takes to get home).    

First Day of School 2010

 

I realize they have been attached to my hip most of the time.  I love having my kids with me most of the time.  Sure I get tired of the fighting and bickering, but what would I do without them??  I need them just as much as they need me.  As I type these words I realize I need this time, I have so much to do that takes concentration that I need this break.  But my heart is breaking, knowing I can’t just go hug them when I get ready to.  Or sugar their heads when I pass them on my way to the laundry room.  But I think after I get through with this post, I’ll be ok and will get busy, doing the things that will make a difference, things that have to be done.  Lots to do, where do I start?  I feel so lonely now.  I want them back home.  Here come more tears.  Dang tears!

Muffins for Moms Day

Tomorrow is Muffins for Moms Day.   This is a program at our elementary school when Mom’s are invited to come have breakfast with their children.  I have been doing this since my young ones started, back 4 or so years ago.  The kids really love it and so do most parents.  I am so thankful that I have the opportunity to participate in this event.  Not only do they have Muffins for Moms, but they also have Donuts for Dads, and Goodies for Grandparents.  

I know a lot of people don’t actually have the chance to do this as they have to work.  However a lot of the parents and grandparents go into work late or take off early, depending on the hours they work.  I’ve googled this and it seems there are a lot of schools across the country that do this.

If your school have this program, make a suggestion to them, this really makes the kiddo’s feel important, and really gives them a boost for the day.  It also helps their self-esteem.   It’s really hard to see some of the students who eat breakfast on that day that have no parent or grandparent with them.  If you do participate, ask some of them, that have no one, to come sit with you and your children.  Include them in the conversations, it will make them feel a little better about not having anyone with them.

The Junior High doesn’t participate, but Nosey, since he is a Momma’s Boy, will go with us.  The food won’t be gourmet, but it will do.  Think about this and try to go, or help get this started at your school.